Do you know the difference between self-love and self-importance? They can feel very similar, but they are actually very different things. One big difference is that the quest for self-love can easily fall into the trap of self-importance but looking for self-importance rarely brings about self-love.
The Primary Difference Between the Two
Equating self-love with self-importance is easy to do. A huge component of practicing self-love is embracing the idea that you are important and valuable as a person. However, that doesn’t make you more important than others. Consider:
- Self-Love: Treating yourself well.
- Self-Importance: Acting like you’re better than everyone else and deserve more than them.
In short, confidence is good. Cockiness is not.
Do’s and Don’ts
One of the trickiest areas in the struggle between self-love and self-importance is in dealing with others. When you suddenly find self-love after a long time without it, many people around you aren’t going to share your recognition of your value. In trying to protect your new sense of self-worth, it’s easy to get defensive, rude, or hostile when anyone else seems to threaten it.
- Do: Be assertive
- Don’t: Be aggressive
- Do: Reserve the right to say “Sorry, no”
- Don’t: Put them down or call them unreasonable
- Do: Remember that saying no doesn’t make you unworthy
- Don’t: Get impolite even if someone else is
Your self-worth won’t always extend to those around you, and sometimes you just have to walk away.
Practice Instead of Perfection
Practicing self-love is exactly as it sounds. It’s a practice.
It’s also a process. You will have to learn things, and you will make mistakes.
While you can always improve yourself as a person, you will never be perfect. Humility is a wonderful teacher. Whether you like it or not, it is always going to be there to educate you. This comes full circle with self-love. You need to learn to embrace your scars, your dents, and your dings. Your flaws are part of who you are, they define you, and they give you character. Allow yourself to be comfortable, even if that means wearing a tummy tuck swimsuit, because you don’t have to be uncomfortable while you are on a journey of improvement.
It’s not about being perfect so much as being imperfect in the most beautiful way.
Looking to feel better about yourself is a natural inclination, but the differences between self-love and self-importance are so subtle that it’s easy to fall on the wrong side of the things.