You’re here because either you and your ex-partner have decided to mediate your differences using the Mutually Agreed Upon Procedure (MIAM) or your ex-partner has already initiated MIAM and invited you to participate. https://solentfamilymediation.co.uk
When participants are already feeling stressed out about the situation at hand, the prospect of attending a “formal” meeting to mediate the dispute can be very daunting. However, keep in mind that the mediator’s neutrality extends throughout the entirety of the mediation process. Mediation is not a zero-sum game in which one party “wins” and the other “loses,” and the mediators do not take sides.
The Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) is the first step in the mediation process, during which you and a neutral third party will discuss your situation and determine whether or not mediation will be beneficial to you and your loved ones.
The average length of an MIAM is 45 minutes to 1 hour. How long it takes depends on how much ground you and your ex-spouse need to cover and how many points of contention there are. Not everyone who goes to mediation has to figure out intricate kid and financial arrangements.
MIAMs can take place in-person or digitally, via platforms like the video messaging app WhatsApp (which is encrypted and therefore safe to use). Since it often takes a week or two to get appropriate office space for a face-to-face MIAM meeting, we can usually organise online appointments considerably more quickly.
One of the most common reasons why people choose to complete their MIAM online is because of this very convenience. For those who choose to pay out of pocket, we can typically schedule an appointment within a few days. Those who qualify for Legal Aid can also receive this assistance; however, they must wait until after their eligibility has been determined to schedule their MIAM.
Ten calendar days is the average time frame for something to be completed.
Where do we go from here in an MIAM?
Confidentiality of MIAMs is the most critical aspect to consider. What is said in this meeting with the mediator will not be repeated anywhere. Even if asked, the mediator will not reveal any of your private statements to your ex-spouse, the court, or any other third party involved in the legal process.
All communications between you and the mediator are “Legally Privileged” to the same extent as communications with your attorney. This is crucial so that you can feel safe disclosing personal information about yourself and your situation without fear of repercussions. The mediator will explain the two rare exceptions at the outset of the mediation session.
The first is if you tell the mediator that you’ve committed a crime, and the second is if the mediator thinks you or a family member is in danger. The mediator will not bring in any outside organisations without first consulting with you. They will tell you why they have to do what they’re about to do and what they plan to do before they do it.
The mediator will present themselves at the commencement of the Mediation MIAM. Don’t panic that there will be an awkward pause in which you’ll feel compelled to share your life story. The mediator will lead you through a formal procedure and ask you pointed questions.
Whether or not you feel like something has been left out, there will be plenty of time at the end of the session for you to voice your concerns.
Your mediator will explain our firm’s commitment to the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) and how we manage and use the personal data we gather from you. Our data protection policy details are available on our site in the Policies section.
It’s important that we learn more about you first. We will need to know your first, middle, and last names, as well as the one you like to be addressed as. As a mediator, I appreciate it when you use my first name instead of my last since it helps put people at ease. Please provide us with your full name, birth date, current address, and preferred method of contact.
If you have an email address and are willing to receive case-related correspondence there, we can provide you with far faster and more efficient service than if we had to rely on the postal service.
If you have a disability and require special assistance, we will take it into account. This can be anything from a hearing loop system to a meditative space that is accessible for those with special needs. We need to be honest with your ex-spouse, therefore letting us know whether you need a caretaker during mediation sessions is crucial.
If you are an adult, we will additionally inquire if you are at risk. The term “those who require” or “may need” support from agencies like community care services is likely unfamiliar to many readers. They are defenceless against injury or exploitation for a variety of reasons, including but not limited to mental health, handicap, age, or sickness.
It’s common for patients to want to bring a loved one or friend for moral support. We know how difficult this time is for you, but we must ask that no one from your immediate circle of support attend the mediation sessions with you. During your MIAM with the mediator, feel free to voice any concerns you may have.
The mediator will ask you to identify with a particular ethnic group, such as “White British” or “Asian British,” as a starting point for the discussion. If your immigration status is relevant to the mediation case, you may be asked about it. In response to your concern, the mediator will not share any information about your immigration status with the Home Office or any other government agency.
If there is a potential problem with your immigration status, the mediator can refer you to a group that offers free immigration consultations.
In addition, please tell us how you heard about our company. This will shed light on how we can better disseminate information about our efforts and assist a greater number of struggling families.
Lastly, in this section, please let us know when you would be available for mediation, should that step be necessary. In case there are specific dates you wish to avoid, please inform your mediator. There are instances when you need to schedule mediation around other obligations, such as work or child care, or when you know in advance that you have an important appointment, like with your lawyer or doctor.
We will make every effort to schedule mediation sessions so that they cause you the least amount of disruption possible; in return, we ask that you give each mediation session the same level of importance as you would a consultation with a lawyer, a doctor’s visit, or a court date.
Next, please provide your ex-first spouse’s and last names, as well as their birth date, email address, physical address, and phone number (if you have it). Inviting them to participate in mediation, if appropriate, requires knowing their current email or postal address.
The mediator will then ask you questions regarding your past relationship with your ex, such as “Were you married?” “How long were you in the relationship?” and “When did you separate?”
Do not worry if you cannot recall the specific date or time; remembering the general time period will suffice. Your marital or single status, as well as the status of any previous marriages you may have had, will also be inquired about.
The mediator will then inquire as to whether or not you share any children, and if so, will request the full legal names, birth dates, genders, and surnames of any children you share. Provide the full, legal names of the minors in question. You will be questioned about your living situation and parental responsibilities for any minor children.
As a rule, this results in the father’s name being listed as the legal guardian on the birth certificate of his child or children. The mediator will also inquire as to whether or not there are any medical or other special needs your kids may have that we should be aware of during the mediation session. Your child’s special requirements, such as a disability, should be considered during the mediation process.
It is time for the mediator to ask the difficult subject of whether or not there have been incidents of domestic violence or abuse. Keep in mind that everything you say during your mediation MIAM meeting is strictly confidential; we need to get a thorough picture of your case, so please don’t hold back. Abuse and violence in the home can take various forms and affect both men and women. Bruises and black eyes are not the only visible injuries that might occur.
Your ex-spouse may have been controlling, intimidating, threatening, or blaming; there may have been physical, sexual, or verbal abuse; you may have felt emotionally stifled or alone; you may have been coerced into doing things; your ex may have had access to your finances. Tell your mediator if you feel you have been a victim.
You will be asked about any past or present police involvement in cases of abuse. It’s possible that you and your ex-spouse got into a fight at your house and the cops were called. Please provide the mediator with any pertinent information, including rough timelines. You will be asked about your family’s history and current involvement with Social Services.
There is no malice intended by this inquiry; social workers help many different types of families. It’s possible that something has happened to cause stress in the family, such as an illness or the difficulty of adjusting to a new situation for the kids.
Do you have any outstanding legal processes or court applications? is the second question on the MIAM form. Even if you already have a court date set, mediation may be a viable option. The mediator will want to know whether you have any dates in mind so that they can better understand the timeline.
Solicitors commonly advise clients to get an MIAM. If this is the case, the mediator will appreciate you sharing their information with them; nevertheless, they will not share any information about your case with your attorney.
Solent Family Mediation Services Portsmouth connects those in need with a network of independent attorneys who can help those without legal representation. Confer with your mediator to learn more about this. If you want to use the mediator’s services in this way, you should say so. The majority of the group will provide a no-cost, introductory session.
The following section of the MIAM form is less prescriptive and provides you with an opportunity to elaborate on your situation at length. If you feel lost or unsure, don’t worry; the mediator will ask you some questions to help you get started. On the other hand, consider these questions:
When it comes to parental visitation rights, if:
Tell me, how does the issue stand right now?
How often do you see your kid(s)? If yes, can you describe the current setup; how do you feel about it; and what changes, if any, would you like to see made?
Why did you stop communicating, and what methods did you use to stop communicating? Changes in relationships are inevitable, whether it’s a new love interest, a newborn child, a work transfer, a relocation, or even just a quarrel.
For the future, how would you wish the communication to go?
As part of your mediation, you and your ex-spouse may work out an equitable distribution of your assets so that you can start fresh in your new lives apart. Your mediator will want to gauge the current level of trust and cooperation between you two at this point. The mediator at your MIAM does not require specific numbers or valuations, but they will need to know:
- How many separate and/or joint bank, building society, and/or savings accounts do you and your ex-spouse have?
- Was your ex-spouse, to your knowledge, a user of any separate accounts during your time together?
- What about retirement plans, if any, need to be factored in? Is your former spouse a holder of any?
- Please provide me a ballpark figure for the total value of your property (home, cars, RVs, timeshares, etc.).
- Do you and your ex-partner run a successful business together? How is performance thus far?
- Keep in mind that you currently have some form of debt to pay off. How much do you currently owe on all loans, credit cards, and other forms of debt?
- The mediator will take notes as you speak to better organise and prepare for future mediation sessions with you and your ex-partner.
You have now provided your mediator with a comprehensive background on yourself, your ex-spouse, and the circumstance.
So, now what? The MIAM occurs, but what comes next?
If the mediator determines that your case is not suitable for mediation, you will receive the MIAM certificate necessary to begin the court procedure. If the mediator determines that your case is suitable for mediation, we will make contact with your ex-spouse. Stay refreshed with Quintdaily for finding more informative piece of ideas.
